Well a lot has happened since I last updated. D and I got a cat, her name is Squeaker. She deserves her own post so I won't say much about her now. But she is beautiful.
D and I celebrated our first year of marriage.
And as the title of this post mentions, we started getting the ball rolling on fertility testing. D and I have been trying to concieve for over 5 years. What 5 years? But you've only been married for 1 year. Well don't judge, lest ye be judged.
After 5 years, it became very clear that something wasn't right, especially if you consider that accidental pregnancies run in both our families. I wanted to get testing sooner, but D was too nervous and part of me felt we didn't have the right to testing because we weren't married. I will also admit that part of me thought that once we got married, God would let us get pregnant. Obviously that didn't happen. So this May at my yearly physical I talked to my doctor about testing. She had already tested my blood sugar and thyroid and both were great, I'm not diabetic and I don't have a thyroid problem. She sent me for more blood work to check my hormone levels and since my husband doesn't have a doctor she said I could bring him to my follow up appointment and she would get him set up with a SA (sperm analysis).
My hormone levels were all good. No obvious problems. D will be dropping off his sperm sample soon, he needed awhile to work himself up to it. He is terrified that he is the problem. I just want some answers so we can decide where to go from here.
I have always wanted to be a mother, and I always thought I would be done having kids by the time I was thirty. I turn thirty this month and I haven't even started. I am terrified that I will never have children. I know D and I are not comfortable with pursuing IVF. I have done my research and IVF would cost us around the same amount as domestic infant adoption. If we are going to spend that much money I would rather pursue adoption rather than IVF. That is just a personal choice, not a judgement of those who choose IVF. The more I think about it the more I feel drawn to adoption from foster care. There are so many kids in the foster care system waiting for their forever homes. I am open to an older child, but D would prefer a child that is five or younger. Part of me worries that our application will be denied, that they will say we aren't good enough to be parents. We will cross that bridge when we get there though.
This post ended up being much longer than I intended, but it feels good to get it out there.
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